Caught Between Creation and Doubt | MRM

I have this burning desire inside of me to live this creative and fulfilling life. I just feel trapped. I feel caught between the hope and reality. I want more for myself, I mean who doesn't? But right now it just feels so dim. I'm tired of being in school and working a crappy, smelly, part-time job. I just want more out of life. I want to create. I want to do something meaningful. I want to inspire and help others. I want to break barriers and evoke change. But where and how do I even start. It's hard when it feels like this chapter of my life is taking forever to end. I just want to move onto the next thing. The love. The career. The happiness. When do those parts come in? Seeing everyone just reach all of these milestones and I'm here still trying to remember to eat and try to be fit. I just. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I'm really tired. Being a human is so damn exhausting. Dealing with people who care more about what kind of stupid Happy Meal toy they get or fast they can grab a plastic tasting-ass ice-cream cone and shove it into their mouth. I'm just tired of it all. I don't care anymore. I don't care about working 10, 000 hours a week. I don't. I really don't. I don't. All I care about is me and what I like. I thought about volunteering. I thought about just quitting with no back up plan. I thought about all of it. I'm just stuck and life doesn't make any fucking sense right now. I just want something real and true. I want something that's mine. I want something that has meaning. I'm tired of fake people and connections. I want real. I want something real.