The Michaela Files: Midweek & Weekend Edition

I chose this picture because it reminded me of those blue flowers that I tried to take a picture of but it didn't come out good.

❁2025-05-17❁

Hey guys, it's been a few days since I've written. Ummmm. This week in particular has kind of flown by and now it's the long weekend. I've just spent the last couple days dreading the start of my period, feeling queasy, and on edge. When I say on edge I mean that I just feel like a whirlpool of emotions at once but they aren't clear so I either feel blank or just so much all at once. Thursday was a rough day for me because I cried. The weather was nice and I did wake up late. I had every intention of just having a chill self-care kind of day, but that's not what happened AT ALL. I was kind of stuck between going to get my nails done because I want a new color but I was wrestling with the idea of spending that $70. I did get my eyebrows done and she took forever to start me. That was annoying and I had this feeling to leave but when I tried the other lady was like she's coming she's coming. So I stayed. Anyways, feeling frazzled, I was going to jump on the bus and head to Streetsville to pick up this damn cleanser. Then because my phone was on Do-Not-Disturb I saw missed call from my manager. I called her back (big mistake), and she was like "oh can you come in today from 4-7". Idk what I was thinking but I said yes. I actually do know why I said yes because I've been worried about making money so I just said yes. It was hot as fuck and then I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and on edge (like I said dreading shit). So I decided to walk all the way to Tim Hortons. Lee-Anne and I were supposed to go to the cafe but at this point it was almost 3 and they closed at 4. I was just feeling overwhelmed. I got to Tim Hortons and it's busy at this time because kids are out from school. I just needed to sit down for a fucking moment to collect myself and get out all these anxious thoughts. Let me make this clear, I was going to order something, I just needed a fucking moment bruh. I had my headphones in and then I look up and it's the owner or whatever. He came at me smiling so I thought he was just going to ask me something. Then he goes "you know you have to buy something right?" or something like that. I told him like yeah I was going to buy something and then he's like "oh well you can't just sit there and do whatever." And that's when I just burst into tears because I was already having a weird day and then he said that and I felt like I did something even more wrong. It was just the way he said it that just made me feel bad. I go there all the time and I was buy a tea or food. It just kind of felt like an attack. Idk. It was so shitty. I just sat and cried. I got a Brown Sugar Iced Latte and a stupid Raisin Bran muffin which I didn't even want because I was actually starving and I wanted to get like a soup. But at this point I was just so frazzled so I just ordered the first thing that came to my mind, which was that. It was a hard and weird day. THEN ONTOP OF THAT, I finish my shift and the supervisor just had to come in at 9 PM right? I was on the floor and I was on my phone and then I look up and she's like "hey, oh can you wash your hands cause you were on your phone?" I was so frazzled yet again because I didn't expect her to come and I was also making my food (lmao). So yeah, it was just a hard day.

This weekend, I don't have much planned except going to work on Sunday and Monday. I have a double shift on Sunday, we'll see how that goes. It shouldn't be too bad but idk. Friday was a bit better. Some positive things I did to make up for that shitty ass Thursday was drink my tea and sit outside while journaling. It was beautiful. The wind, the sound of the chimes, and the trees just flowing. I really liked that. I had eggs and yogurt with granola for breakfast. The eggs keep having this weird ass skin on them. I still ate one which is good. I went to Starbucks and accidentally ordered my drink wrong so they had to remake it. I went to Crumbl and Harvey's. I had corn and a wrap. The corn was really good and sweet. I also keep checking Emilie Kiser updates on TikTok, it's so sad what happened to her son. Life can really change in an instant man. Life is such a gift. Even the hard days are gifts. OH YEAH, I also bought a coloring book on Thursday so I guess that's one positive out of that day. And my manager said he missed working with me and that just made me cry harder but I thought it was nice that he said that. I also got this ring from EVRY JEWELS. It's one of those linked rings. I think it's cute.

Anyways that's it for me and this little update.